Night Letter from Home

27

I was sleeping, but I did not disappear in my sleep. I was aware of myself not as a body or a personality, but as an essence. It was neither space nor time. Rather – it was pure being, a darkness without fear, an absence of light in which there was no lack.

In this formless presence, I felt a warmth of extraordinary density at my very center – at the core, at a source that has no name. This warmth was love, but not as an emotion. It did not arise and it did not vanish – it had no beginning and no end. It was a state of absolute overflow.

Love was not directed outward, nor did it strive for anything. It simply was – and out of its excess, it poured from my center into the darkness around me, without changing itself. I want to call this state absolute Eros – not as desire, but as the self-movement of being, as a fullness that requires no object.

After waking, I felt a presence within me. As if something had left a mark – or had perhaps never left me, and merely allowed itself to be recognized. It was not an intrusion, nor was it “someone else,” but a quiet, dense intimacy that requires no image.

This is the second such experience in my life. In its state, it is close to ecstasis, but of a different nature. There was no going beyond limits here – only remaining in the center. Not a movement, but a coincidence. Not an event, but a truth.

18:00

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    Надсилаючи листа, Ви довіряєте свій голос цьому простору. Я бережу Вашу приватність так само ревно, як власну тишу